Blah blah blah.

9/24/98
I had a rant all written up for today. Then someone started pissing me off, and then my computer started being a bitch and in my fury, I reset my computer. Effectivly losing today's rant. To whom it may concern, if you don't like your job, don't piss and moan to me about it. Quit. Find one you like. Jackass.

9/23/98
Woo. I've just been reading about the Ebola virus. Sounds like fun. Actually, it sounds pretty fucking scary. Especially since the love of my life could be sent to a place where the virus is known to be/have been. It's finally cooling down here. I love the fall. And the winter. Spring is good too, but the summer sucks. I much prefer to be cold than hot. If you're cold, you can put on more clothing, get next to a heater, build a fire, etc. If you're hot, there is only so much clothing you can take off. Strangers in the night... It's my page and I'll rant if I want to. Ben's a whole whopping 19 now. In a month and five days I will no longer be a teenager. That's kind of weird. I've been a teenager for seven years. Green. My elbow hurts. You're just walking along and then BAM! You're hit in the head by a flying nail. The nail pierces your skull and lodges in your brain. This doesn't kill you, oh no, it merely renders you paralized from the neck down. And instead of killing you, which would be the merciful thing to do, the doctors keep you alive with their machines and contraptions. You're conscious, so you know that you're alive and that you're hooked up to all these machines, but you are totally helpless. You can't do a damned thing. Your loved ones come and see you, tears streaming down their faces. You cry out in your mind "KILL ME!!! KILL ME!!!" but no one hears you of course, because it's all in your mind. The mind of a vegetable lying in a hospital bed burning money and taking up hospital space in an over-crowed hospital. Someone comes - days, weeks, maybe even years later, you don't know, because you've lost all sense of time in your little cell like room - they come to pull the plug. One of your gutless relatives have finally had enough of paying the hospital bills and of seeing their loved ones suffer because of you, and they've taken it upon themselves to end it all. *beep* *beep* *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* And all of this could have been avoided if only you'd have worn a hard hat like OSHA wants you to.

9/22/98
Today is Ben's birthday. Happy birthday, Ben! So, I didn't go to Nashville Pussy. I would have, had I not had an eight o'clock class. But, had I known my electricity would go off in the night and I'd sleep til a quarter to ten, I'd have gone. Gotta look... gotta look busy. On the note of hating Tommy Hilfiger, have you seen those stupid shoes? The ones that lace up, but then have a zipper that goes over that? What is up with that? You know, I haven't updated my shit list for a while. Hmm, is there anyone I could add? I'll have to look into that. Green. I'll stir-fry you in my wok. Theryn's sick. That sucks. Thank you. Thank you, and fuck you!

9/21/98
Nashville Pussy. I'm supposed to be going to see Nashville Pussy tonight with Rodney. I'm thinking I'm going to have to decline. I would like to go, but I have an eight o'clock class in the morning and I could be spending my money on other things. This whole deal with Clinton is just getting plain annoying. Kick him the fuck out or get over it. My mother is at home watching and taping Clinton's grand jury testimony. "It's history", she says. Yeah, I'm going to want to watch Clinton lie to a federal grand jury in twenty years about as much as I want to now. Which, of course, is not at fucking all. Well, the more reviews of the show I see, the more Nashville Pussy seems to be worthy of my money... Well, yeah. That's it. It's decided. I'm going. I can't pass up a leopard skin-bikini clad woman, standing 6'3" and breathing fire. Man, I've been reading some depressing stuff on the internet. People being beaten as children while their mother stands by and watches, twenty-one year olds dying of cancer that only 60-70 year olds are supposed to be able to get. Without cows, there would be no cow tipping. I had a wonderful steak last night. Oh god, it was good. Yummy! I can't imagine not eating meat. I quote Mr. Vega, "Pork chops are good". I tried some duck and some osterich (however you fucking spell that), and the osterich was pretty good, but the duck was quite unappetizing. Na na na na na na na. Na na na na na na. Gettin' jiggy wit it.

9/18/98
Yada yada yada. Theryn should be on the road on her way home, or getting ready to leave. I like money. What you do is get a canvas bag. You put the cat into the bag, and seal the top. Canvas breathes, so the cat won't die of suffocation. Then, you take the bag with the cat in it, sealed, and throw it into a large body of water. The cat is all freaked out being in the bag, then the water soaks through - and that flips the cat out too, because cats hate water. Then the cat claws it's way out of the bag, only to be submersed in water, and possibly drown. If it doesn't drown, it'll be screwed up for the rest of it's eight lives. But that's just a theory I read about in a story my cousin wrote with a friend of his called "50 Ways to Kill a Cat". Moo. Ugh. Waiting sucks. This makes me want a dog. Do you see the beast? Finally, someone I can relate to. Okay enough of this. I miss my girlfriend and I want her here. NOW!! GREEN!

9/16/98
Theryn is coming home for the weekend. Woohoo! I get her pretty much to myself for the entire weekend. Ugh, gotta have word wrap. Much better. We're going to the Renaissance Festival on Saturday. That'll be cool. Jesus in a blood stain. The candy nightmares are made of. Okay, enough of that. You know, I miss the old Avery. He always had some theory to share. And dammit, he always got me thinking. We'd have thought provoking conversations. I still have yet to find someone who could challenge me to think or re-think about many, often off the wall subjects. And he's read a lot of the books I have, and in fact got me to read a lot of them, and he was one of the only people I could really discuss them with. And I enjoyed that. And now, it's like, I never see him, and when I do he's either with his goons, or he's higher than a kite. "High as a kite, Mr. Dawkins". Well yeah, okay, enough about that. My Medieval History professor has really nice legs. And god said, let there be poop, and there was poop. Latino music. Some chick sitting next to me is blasting it out of her headphones. She's typing to the beat. She's cute. I actually find myself typing to the beat as well. Weird. Impatient people piss me off. But then, I guess I'm afully guilty of being impatient quite often as well. Oh well. It's so hard to get out of bed lately. I mean, it's literally a fight. And paying attention in class has been quite difficult lately as well. Maybe I have ADD. Or maybe it's just another tool of the man to bring me down. I'm sharing a birthday party this year with my friends Angela and Courtney. They had already planned it because their birthdays are both in October, and I was like, "hey - so's mine", so they said they'd include me. I could have done without the picture of the front of the invitations, but hey - I can't complain. And another thing is it's at Nick's house. I hate Nick. But oh well, I can get over that. I'll just ignore him. Man, at Courtney's last party, Nick was drunk and all over all the girls. Well, when the girls weren't in the back having an orgy, that is. He came up behind Jacque and was all hugging her and shit and she was like "Who are you?", I saw this and so I went over and well, I think I pulled her away. And he made some comment like "Oh, she's all yours man" or some hippie shit like that. God damned hippies. Well, I guess he's not really a hippie... he's just a hippielet. But enough about him. Green! I can't fathom spending outrageous amounts of money on an animal. Like I said earlier, take them out back and shoot them. I mean, I don't go for animal abuse, tho I do find the thought of punting a small dog to be funny. The thought. I doubt I'd ever be able to actually do it. And even tho I hate cats, I probably wouldn't punt a cat either. However, I don't think I'd spend hundreds of dollars to save an animal. Especially if the problem it's got, it would have got whether or not I was around. You know, like in the wild. I just can't see it. But then, I've never really had a pet of my own and when/if I get one, my views will probably change. GREEN! "Life sucks, get a fucking helmet, all right?!" Denis Leary is just awesome, okay? "Shimmer" by Fuel is still a really good song.

9/15/98
You know what I just realized? Yesterday was my seven month anniversary with Theryn, and I didn't mention it in my rant. That could have been why I was all depressed and shit. No, genius, I wasn't depressed because I've been with her for seven months, I was depressed because we weren't getting to spend our anniversary together. They took it upon themselves here in my office to change my seating arrangement all around. I guess I'm weird, but I thought it was okay the way it was. I've got the damned Superman song stuck in my head. No, not the Our Lady Peace "Superman is Dead", the theme from Superman. I used to have my hair cut and combed like Superman. Not intentionally, but one day I was watching a Superman movie, and I noticed that "Hey - his hair is just like... MINE!" I've dyed it and started getting it cut differently. Not because of that really, but that's a definite incentive. It all started back in March when I dyed my hair blue. I need to shave. And you know what? I miss Theryn. I'll bet you didn't know that. Both of my brake lights are out. It's like a sign - "Pull me over!". And you see, this is why I rarely if ever will add on to a rant after I have posted it. Because a lot of what I wrote is not true anymore. That damned superman theme is out of my head, I fixed my brake lights, and I've shaved (god damned razor burn). Rodney bought and brought over Snoop Dogg. It's funny. With so much trouble in the LBC, it's kind of hard being Snoop dee oh double gee. Scrabble is a really fun game. Even if the person you play kicks your ass on a regular basis. Birds fall from the window ledge above mine, then they flap their wings at the last second. My mind is less random than it needs to be right now.

9/14/98
In the immortal words of Denis Leary, "...Most people think, life sucks, and then you die. I disagree. I think Life sucks, then you get cancer. Then you go into chemotherapy. You lose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself. Then all of a sudden the cancer goes into remission. You look good, you feel good, you're going great, and all of a sudden you have a stroke. You can't move your right side. And one day you step off the curb at 68th by Lincoln Center and BANG, you get hit by a bus. And then--maybe--you die." I had a really fucked up weekend. Between 10:30am on Friday morning and about 12:30am on Sunday morning, I dozed for 3 1/2 hours. We'll leave it at that. You know what I miss? I miss the simplicity of grade school. You never had to get up before eight, you had recess like two or three times a day, and you never had homework. Plus, when you got out of school, it was play time. You didn't have to go to work, you didn't have to worry about paying bills, nothing like that. And I miss Theryn. I am going to be really glad when she comes home to stay. You know, I was all happy like fifteen minutes ago. Since I thought I was only getting around $200 back from my loan, but it turns out that I got the grant I thought I had lost, so I ended up with $905. I was really excited. But now... now I'm tired. And I feel.. well, if I really thought about it and wanted to, I could cry. It wouldn't be that difficult. Someone I went to grade school with just sat down beside me. Chuck would know her - Christa. She had a really big crush on me in grade school. I know this because I was told by her and many other people. I don't know why I avoided her, but it probably had to do with either Cori or Paula. People seem to have a really hard time figuring out the printers in this lab. I don't know anything about them, but it seems that the tech people should set it up so that they were easy to use. But then, I guess the tech people wouldn't have much to do. I read a bit in the Starr Report. I read how the stain got on the dress. Presidential semen. Fucking great. She should have just kept her mouth shut and sold the dress for a million dollars. I find that Cruel.com is a really good site. It led me to the cat-scan page which in my moment of depression, made me laugh. Lately, when I've been in class or whatnot, and started to doodle, the word that's come to mind first is "green". I have no idea why. "So when I see you please understand the way I think. Your smile it heals me I never want to go away. Believe I love you no matter how selfish I get. I know you'll help me, the way I feel I won't forget..."

9/11/98
Okay, so <----that guy's an asshole. I mean the nerve of him, taking up two computers. What the fuck? He's a fucking hippie, that's it. God damned hippies. I've had four pop tarts, a mr. pibb, a pepsi, and a payday to eat today. That's it. I guess I could have eaten at home, but hey, you have to stay home to do that. I was home for like twenty minutes today. And Theryn hasn't emailed me all day. I hope she alright. I just missed her on BTG. Oh, wait, yes she has. Once. I miss her really bad. It was really bad today for some reason. And today I've been wanting to put a space in the word today. And that just ain't right. It may even kill me. Well, it looks like I'm getting up at like 11:30 am tomorrow. Any earlier than one on a Saturday is just wrong. But hey - it's all in the name of the Jayhawk Music Festival, so it's all good. We've been having some really nice weather lately. And of course, I didn't have my love to share it with. But hey, that's really enough feeling sorry for myself. I'll get to see her next weekend, I think. And I mean hey, it's only our 7 month anniversary on Monday. No big deal, right? I got hit on in my english class today. I mean, it was so blatant that I noticed it, which is rare. Either that or it doesn't happen very often. I need to get a ring or something to show that hey - I'm taken and I'm damn happy and proud of it. Yay, she just signed on instant messenger. Happy am I. My mind is so random tonight that I can't think of what to write. But you know, it just goes to show that if you're in the right state of the union, even an onion can sound like a cow in heat. That light over there keeps flickering in and out. It's driving me rather insane. I had a mole removed yesterday, and the scab is kind of hurting. Saw a shooting star last night. That was pretty cool. You know, first impressions are all good and stuff, but you can't really make a good judgement about the person from only talking to them for like a total of maybe ten minutes. There are some hella bitches out there. They should all be taken out back and shot. I don't care what you think of me, your opinion means nothing at all.

9/10/98
I almost put 9/10/11. Okay, so if every 4 out of 6 or whatever win a free Sunkist, then how come I've not won squat and I've bought like ten of them in the last month? Dammit! I'm root of all that's evil, yeah but you can call me cookie. I've got like $50 for a week. While I can survive on that, it's quite a change from the money I had during the summer. That could be because I went from working 35-40 hours/week to approx. 16 hours. Or, it could be another tool of the man to bring me down. Oi. And I have to finish this damned drivers test thing, then go sit for several hours at the DMV to get my new license. Technically, I have until my birthday, but the sooner the better, right? I'm for sure going to have to get my hair cut and dye it again before I get my new license. In the one I've got now, I was wearing my Minnesota Twins cap. No, really. They let me wear my hat. It was cool. My Medieval History discussion was in the computer center today. It was my misfortune to be in the one that was in the mac lab. Goldfinger is supposed to have a new album out by spring of 1999. That'll be cool. Probably won't happen, but oh well. I mean, Elastica was supposed to have one out by fall of '97, then it was moved to spring of '98... and since it's September '98 now and there's no word of a new Elastica album, I don't think it's happening. Needless to say I'm odds and ends. Hmm, well I guess techically it's the eleventh now, but oh well. I got a thing from Penthouse the other day. They were trying to sell me a subscription. Not once did they mention that they're porn. It sounded like it was just a magazine about cool stuff. They kept saying "the most beautiful women in the world", but never did they say "the most beautiful women in the world, naked, and spreading their legs for you". Interesting. Twizzlers make mouths happy.

9/9/98
I hate those little boxes that keep showing up in my html when I save to disk then open in WordPad! And I can't figure out why they show up or what I can do about it!!! Grr! I was asleep when McGwire hit the 61st, and I was not watching when he hit the 62nd. And it bothers me that I can't remember how to spell his name. I think that's right. Avery's back in town. And now, he's a hippie. He was beginning to be one before he went to California, but now that he's back, the metamorphoses is complete. I'm hungry. I really have to stop sleeping so late that I can't eat before I leave. I guess I need to go to bed earlier. But that doesn't seem to help either. I'm always tired and it's been a bitch to pull myself out of bed for about the last month. I think I have mono. Where could I have picked up mono you ask? The only person I've been in contact with that I knew had had it recently was well over a year ago. July '97. So maybe that's not it. Or maybe I'm dying. Or maybe I just need rest, food, and Theryn. That's all I need. I'd like a week of not having anything to do, or anywhere to go. Just me and Theryn. And quite a bit of money too, since you really can't go out nowadays and not spend money. There are people standing at the entrance waiting to use a computer in the lab. I had to wait too. That's why I don't feel bad that I'm updating my page and chatting while they wait for a computer that they'll probably use for school work. Plus, I'm a KU student, so I have every right to be here too. God damn right, I do! I think McGwire will hit 65, break his arm, and Sosa will end the regular season with 68. That'd be cool. Though, I've liked McGwire since he was in Oakland and half of the Bash Brothers. Jose Canseco being the second half. Man, it's hard to believe that there are people out there who don't know how to use Pine. Jesus. And I need a massage. My back is in such terrible shape. Maybe it's stress... that and I sleep on a mattress on the floor of my basement. Nah, that couldn't be it. I hate it when the person you're sitting next to is looking at their notes or books on the table between the two of you, and out of the corner of your eye it looks like they're looking at you, so you look over at them, only to realize that they aren't looking at you, but then they look up because you're looking at them, and you have that uncomfortable silence when you look at someone you don't know and they catch you, so then you both look away. That sucks.

9/8/98
This past weekend will be one that me and my friends won't soon forget. That's for god damned sure. I went to SpiritFest on Friday, which was awesome. Then Saturday I drove down to Parsons, Kansas to see my love. New, interesting, happy, and unforgettable things happened down there this weekend. What is it with fate ruling my t.v. watching? Just by chance I turned on SportsCenter right before I went to bed last night... right as they were showing highlights of the Broncos game. Broncos 27-21. Sweet. You know, I've got this sense of impending doom. I don't know why. If I knew why, I'd tell you why because I'd be preparing for it. I don't know. Maybe it's just my paranoid mind at work. Maybe it's because I've always believed that things can't keep going right for you, there's always going to be something that goes wrong. Or maybe I'm just paranoid and delusional. Or, maybe not.

9/3/98
Oi. I had a dream last night that I was in this cabin, but it was a tree house. My family was there, and there was this bat. It was buzzing around me like a bee. For some reason I grabbed it. It was squirming around like a small dog does when you grab it by just it's body. And it was trying to bite me, I knew it was. And I thought I could hold it off, but it bit my left hand. Then I let it go and it was buzzing around me like a mad bee would. I went over to my mom and I was like "Help!" Then my sister and my mother turn around and see it and they scream. Then it's like gone, and my mother and grandfather are telling me that I'll have to go to the hospital and "get my shots". And that's about all I remember of it, other than the bite was just one puncture wound, but it swelled up all big like. Wouldn't it be fun to have bed bugs? Just think, while you're sleeping there all warm and cozy, little bugs are crawling all over you, just biting and sucking your blood. It's a yummy thought, isn't it? Man, I'm tired. I get paid tomorrow, and depending on how much I get paid, I might dye my hair. Hopefully I can find that Tangerine color that I want, but if not, I'll probably go with some shade of red. And I'll have Jacque dye it... except she didn't get a hold of me yesterday. I find that odd. For the longest time, she's paged me as soon as I got out of school or off work. Hmm. I hope she's all right. Ooh! Plus, thanks to Comedy Central I got to see the 10,000 Maniacs first performance on Saturday Night Live. They played "Like the Weather" and "What's the Matter Here?". It was awesome. Just by chance as I was going to bed last night I switched on the t.v. only to hear "... and musical guests, Ten-thousand Maniacs!". I was like "Dood!". So, I taped it.:) Natalie looked so good. God damn, she's beautiful. "Shimmer" by Fuel is still a really good song.

9/2/98
Well, at least now when I cough, I can feel the mucous breaking up in my lungs. Which either means I'm getting better or I'm going to die. I woke up with five bug bites that I didn't know I had when I went to sleep. This concerns me. Either I just didn't notice them, which I don't know why I wouldn't have noticed a bug bite inbetween the index and middle finger on my right hand, or there is a mosquito or some equally evil insect in my room. That would suck. It may even kill me. I saw my friend Vicky today. She was sitting in the hall waiting for her class to start. I was just out of class so I stopped and talked to her. One of the first things she said was "Are you engaged?". I thought I had told everyone... other than those who don't need to know for quite some time... like the 'rents. It appears that some people were left out. So I told her that I was and I showed her Theryn's picture. I had forgotten that she knew Theryn, so she was all freaking out, "You're engaged to Theryn?! Wow!!" It digressed from there. I did tell her that it was a long term engagement, that we were waiting to get married until after college. She thought that was cool. Then I did my little rant about Theryn joining the Peace Corps, which I may or may not get into later. All in all it was cool to see her. Yeah. Customers must provide their own paper for laser printing. I wrote a story in my Gothic Lit. class in my senior year. If you care to read it, here it is. I think it's cool. "Take him out back and shoot him" has recently become my favorite saying. I was watching this show on Animal Planet, for I was not in control of the remote, and this dog had like slit it's throat on it's collar because it was too tight. My response was, take him out back and shoot him. Then there was a kitten that was covered in glue. Take him out back and shoot him. In both cases, they didn't take my advice and spent butt-loads of money to save these animals. Then there was a rhino that had brain damage because the mother kept kicking it in the head! It thought that was cool. Anyway, they should have taken it out back and shot it. But I don't know what they did. I'm listed on my high school web page as Josheph. Josheph. What the fuck? Coca-cola. Hey, I've got a Mr. Pibb in my backpack. I just remembered that. I hope they don't search my bag, because we all know that "Absolutely no food or drinks are allowed in Budig Hall". For those of you who don't know, Hoch Auditorium, which is in the newly renovated Budig Hall which wasn't Budig Hall at all a while back, got hit by lightening many years back. It was big news. Though, I only remember hearing about it and not caring that much. I'm hungry. You know where I learned to see the hidden 3-D image in those cool magic eye things? At the Cosmosphere in Hutchinson, KS. The coolest things there were the magic eye and the fact that there I had my first experience with automatic flushing toilets. I spent a good twenty minutes just walking up to the toilet and walking away. *FLUSH*

9/1/98
It's Sep-fucking-tember. Can you belive that shit. It's already the ninth month of nineteen ninety-eight. Is ninety-nine going to be a non-stop party? Or, are we going to start partying like it's twenty ninety-nine? And how are we going to say the year? Or put it on our checks? Will it be "Two-thousand", and on the check be mm/dd/00? Two thousand. I remember thinking we'd be flying around like the Jetson's by now. I have been sneezing like a bastard today. I don't know what it is, but for some reason my allergies have been awful today. I was fine this weekend when Theryn was here, but then when she left, I started to feel like shit. Mentally and physically. I miss her. You know, there's a lot of pointless shit out there on the web. But then you find some quality sites like this one, this one, and this one. It ain't no joke, I'd like to buy the world some cocaine. Now I'm high, and I'm not shy, I'll get it off my chest. Last time I was tested in school I was typing 60 wpm. I don't think that that's fast enough, and I hope that through typing everyday I've gotten faster. I interviewed for a job as a data entry person, and the preliminary test was a typing test. You had to get like 3,000 keystrokes per hour, not including backspace/delete, to be eligible for the job. It was like a five minute test. As I'm taking it I'm thinking, "Jesus I'm going slow! I'll never make it." Well, I did. I got like 8,000. I was rather impressed with myself. I have got a major sinus/stress headache. Feels like my head is going to pop. I have, however, stopped sneezing. But Benadryl knocks me out so I'm feeling kind of drowsy right now. I hope I get to go to Spirit Fest this Friday. I would really like to see Local H play. That'd be cool. "Shimmer" by Fuel is a really good song. "Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away... and you'll have their shoes." Tie me to the bed post.

8/31/98
So, Theryn and I went to lunch today. Then she went back to Parsons. Yup yup yup. I miss her already. My father came to town today, bearing my tags for my car so that I can drive it legally tomorrow. Then he took me to dinner. It was cool. Haven't seen him in a while and I enjoy his company. His new girlfriend was with him. And, as far a people go, I like her. But anyway, it was cool. He fixed the blinker that's been out since November of last year. I was on my way to work at the Kwik Shop when it went out. He also talked a bit about his tour in Vietnam. This was prompted by "Have you seen 'Saving Private Ryan'?". Speaking of that movie... I saw it in Parsons with Theryn. It was a good movie, but I'll never see it again. Rarely does a movie make me cry, but I was in tears at the end of this movie. Sucked. Anyway, I also got a tape from Snw today. It's fucking cool, of course. Now, I don't normally like hip hop, but what I've heard on this tape was... tolerable if not good. Actually, it's pretty cool. In a time of chimpanzee's I was your mother. But you can't be you, we put you through the window. 842-9896... We're sorry, the number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Jesus. It's September tomorrow. Fucking September. Kelly's bday is the 16th, Ben's the 22nd. I mean, my birthday is not too far away. Man, the Skatenigs rawk! 10:01 is a palindrome. Why does McDonald's have a sign on their drive up window that says "Braile menus available upon request"? Blind people don't drive. Kill the headlights and put it in neutral.

8/30/98
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm. I already knew this, for I like and somewhat still like Def Leppard (Hysteria was a really good album), but I'm reminded everytime I hear "Why is everybody always picking on me?" by the Bloodhound Gang. I've only heard that song and "Fire Water Burn", both of which I like, but when I saw them in concert they sucked. So, I'm torn. I don't know whether or not I want to buy their CD. You know, Mr. Goodcents has really good sandwiches. Chuck came by and we went there today. It was fucking huge, and very good. You know, a lot of people watch "pro" wrestling. I used to like it. When I was in grade school. But I don't know. I don't know what it is about wrestling that people like. I have been considering reverting and watching it again. But a lot of my favorites are gone. And a lot has changed. I always watched the WWF, and thought the WCW sucked. And they still do, I mean, what's this NWO shit? Give me a break. "I want you to notice when I'm not around" is a really good line. If you know what song it's from, congratulations. I've got a mosquito bite on my hand. I've been thinking about selling my car. I drive a 1986 Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight Royale. It's a gas guzzler and it burns oil. But if I could get like $1,500-2,000 I could get a nice, economical car. But then there's the insurance. I'm on my dad's insurance right now... sort of. Anyway, it's only like $70 every six months. And I know that that's fucking awesome. If I got a new car, I'd probably have to get my own insurance, and that'd be a bitch. I'm 19 and male. My insurance would not be pretty. Plus I've got... a speeding ticket, and two "stop sign violations" on my record. I should be reading right now. Homework and all. Theryn gets done with whatever she's doing in about thirty minutes, so I really should get my reading done now, since I won't want to when she's around. "Now I don't want you back for a weekend, not back for a day. No, no, no. I said baby I just want you back and I want you to stay." - Katrina and the Waves, "Walking on Sunshine".

8/29/98
Why is it that the longer I sleep, the more tired I feel when I wake up? You would think that it would be just the opposite. Maybe this is just another tool of the man to bring me down. Yeah, so Theryn's coming to town today. She's staying until tomorrow night I believe. Anticipation. Anticipation is a bitch. I feel like a kid on christmas eve. Although, I had no problem getting to sleep last night nor did I feel like putting out milk and cookies. I think Princess Di said it best when she said "Go faster!". Theryn just walked in!!! Woohoo!

8/28/98
I noticed while beginning this page, that there are certain things that I like ordered in a certain way. And that if they are not the way I want them, I become agitated and distraught. For example, I use WordPad and Notepad to write my pages. If they're not word wrapped, I don't like it. And if the html I am writing, like the html to get the right colors and texts and whatnot, doesn't all fit on one line, it bothers me. If I can't fix it, I don't worry about it, but if I can, I must. I realize that it doesn't matter one way or the other, but it's asthetics. I also need to learn to spell. And why do places like my high school and KU sell more parking passes than they have parking spaces available? I mean, other than to make more money? Do they get some sadistic pleasure out of knowing that many people who pay for a parking pass aren't going to be able to park anywhere near where they need to be? And why don't I eat breakfast? I compromise food for sleep. I do it consciously, but then around noon, I'm wondering just why the fuck I didn't eat something. I'm starving, but hey - I'm rested. And what the fuck is macintosh thinking building a god awful machine like the iMac? No matter what you case it in, a macintosh is still a macintosh and will still suck hairy balls. I don't mind that Coke has taken over the KU campus. Coke makes Mr. Pibb and my preferred drink is Mr. Pibb. I have also come to the realization that $.85 for a 20 oz. Mr. Pibb is actually pretty damned good. At the Kwik Shop, when and if they ever have Mr. Pibb, it's $.89 plus tax, totaling $.95. Which, you know, I've grown accustomed to, but to have it for ten cents cheaper - hey, you can't beat that with a stick. And why is it so god damned hot? And you know, I believe in fate. Yes, it was fate that I should get a parking pass only to find out that I have to get a bus pass to get to class on time everyday. Yeah.

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